Frog and Toad Improved
by Spidershadow5
Summary: How the adventures of Frog and Toad should have gone for your amusement.
1. Chapter 1

**When I was a kid, my mom and I used to read the Frog and Toad books, but we'd add little bits of our own dialogue for fun. I recently got to go to the Frog and Toad musical, and it brought up all of the memories, so I thought I'd post some of our "improvements" here. Hope you enjoy them.**

Cookies

Toad baked some cookies.

"These cookies smell very good," said Toad.

He ate one.

"And they taste even better," he said, as he crammed a fistful into his mouth.

Toad ran to Frog's house.

"Frg, Frg," cried Toad, with his mouth full, "Tst ths ckies!"

Frog stared at Toad.

"Toad, have you accidentally eaten your pillow again?" asked Frog.

Toad swallowed. "I said, taste these cookies that I have made," he said.

Frog ate one of the cookies. "These are the best cookies I have ever eaten!" said Frog.

Frog and Toad ate many cookies, one after another.

"Wu wow, Oad," said Frog, with his mouth full, spraying Toad with cookie crumbs,"I fink fe shou fop feating."

"Wha?" asked Toad, spraying Frog with cookie crumbs in return.

"I said, I think we should stop eating. We will soon be sick," said Frog.

"You are right," said Toad. "Let us eat one last cookie, and then we will stop."

Frog and Toad ate one last cookie.

There were many cookies left in the bowl, more than should be physically possible to come out of one batch.

"Frog," said Toad, "Let us eat one very last cookie, and then we will stop."

Frog and Toad ate one very last cookie. Of course, that didn't last too long.

"We must stop eating!" cried Toad as he ate another.

"Yes," said Frog, reaching for a cookie, "We need will power."

"What the heck is will power?" asked Toad.

"Will power is trying hard _not_ to do something that you really want to do," said Frog.

"You mean like trying _not _to eat all of these cookies?" asked Toad.

"Right," said Frog.

"Can't we just call it resistance or something?" asked Toad, "Will power sounds dumb, and this is a kid's book."

"No!" said Frog, as he punched Toad in the eye and took the three cookies in his hands.

"Okay," said Toad, clutching his eye.

Frog put the cookies in a box.

"There," he said, "I have placed a nuclear device in this box. Now we will not eat any more cookies."

"But we can open the box and be blown to smithereens," said Toad.

"That is true," said Frog.

Frog tied some string around the box.

"There," he said, "Now we will not eat anymore cookies."

"But we can cut the string and open the box and be blown-" said Toad.

"To smithereens," said Frog. "That is true."

Frog got a ladder.

He put the box on a high shelf.

"There," said Frog, "Now we will not eat any more cookies."

"But we can climb the ladder and take the box down from the shelf and cut the string and open the box," said Toad.

"You're not helping, Toad!' said Frog.

Frog climbed the ladder and took the box down from the shelf. He cut the string and opened the box, and was not blown to smithereens for the purpose of this story.

Frog took the box outside.

He shouted in a loud voice, "HEY BIRDS, HERE ARE COOKIES! WATCH OUT FOR THE NUCLEAR DEVICE!"

Birds came from everywhere. They picked up all the cookies in their beaks and flew away. Some were later mutated by exposure to the nuclear device, but who cares?

"Now we have no more cookies to eat," said Toad sadly. "Not even one."

"Yes," said Frog, "But we have lots and lots of will power."

"You may keep all of the stupid will power, Frog," said Toad. "I am going home to bake a cake. You cannot have any."


	2. Chapter 2

Toad's Dream

Toad was asleep, and he was having a dream.

He was on a stage, and he was wearing a really stupid costume.

Toad looked out into the dark.

Frog was sitting out in the theatre.

A strange voice from far away said, "PRESENTING THE GREATEST TOAD IN ALL THE WORLD!"

Toad took a deep bow.

Frog look smaller as he shouted, "Hooray for Toad!" Either that, or Toad was dropping acid again.

"TOAD WILL NOW PLAY THE PIANO VERY WELL," said the strange voice.

Toad played the piano, and he did not miss a note. Which should have been a clear indication that this was a dream, because Toad is tone deaf.

"Frog," cried Toad, "Can you play the piano like this?"

"No," said Frog.

It seemed to Toad that Frog looked even smaller.

"TOAD WILL NOW WALK ON A HIGH WIRE, AND HE WILL NOT FALL DOWN," said the voice.

Toad walked on the high wire.

"Frog," cried Toad, "Can you do tricks like this?" as he fell and landed on his head.

"No!" shouted Frog, who looked very, very small. "I called the paramedics Toad, they're on their way!"

After the paramedics arrived, and patched up Toad, the voice called out again, "TOAD WILL NOW DANCE, AND HE WILL BE WONDERFUL."

"Frog, can you be as wonderful as this," said Toad as he danced all over the stage. As you can imagine, Toad's kind of a jerk.

There was no answer.

Toad looked out into the theatre.

Frog was so small that he could not be seen or heard.

"Frog what have I done?" cried Toad.

Then the voice said, "THE GREATEST TOAD WILL NOW-"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Toad.

"OKAY. THE GREATEST TOAD WILL NOW SHUT UP," said the voice.

"Frog, Frog, where have you gone?"

Toad was spinning in the dark.

"Come back Frog," he shouted, "I will be lonely!"

"I am right here," said Frog.

Frog was standing near Toad's bed.

"Wake up, Toad," he said.

Toad woke up.

"Frog, is that really you?" asked Toad.

"Of course," said Frog.

"And are you your own right size?" asked Toad.

"Yes, I think so," said Frog.

Then Toad looked around his bedroom.

"Frog, what are all these paramedics doing here?" he asked.

"While you were asleep, you kept screaming 'Call the paramedics, Frog! Call the paramedics!'" said Frog.

The paramedics looked clearly annoyed.

Toad smiled.

"Frog," he said, "I am so glad you came over."

"I always do," said Frog.

After Toad payed the paramedics to make them leave, he and Frog ate a big breakfast.

After that, they spent a fine, long day together.


End file.
